"Eros breaks his bow"

How a different perspective can change the way you look at something

& the beauty of a 3D work of art with its different angles....

* "Eros breaks his bow",

by Georgios Vroutos,

1896

I am (part two)

I am turning 27 soon

(basically in some hours).

I am someone who's mind doesn't cooperate sometimes and it makes me freak out, making me believe I might have o.c.d. (must check this out).

I am a strong believer of the ugliness of the world we live in, so I try to create my own microcosm with pinches of positivity and fairydust.

I am now filling what love means.

I'm learning to speak my mind for real.

I'm trying to look at myself from a fresh point of view.

I am doing my best for the things I like and love, but I'm not giving my 100% for these that I don't really want.

I'm crying sometimes when I think of certain things I have accomplished or things and people I didn't have in my life in the past, but now I do!

I am saying to myself that "it's ok, you're human after all" whenever I feel bad or stupid for something I have done or said

(we don't need extra guilt and shame coming from ourselves).

I am an adult and I am now able to keep my calm when a certain problem occurs

(at least much more than I used to).

I am an adult and I can make my own choices.

I am more liberated and happier than I used to be one year ago

(and maybe two years, three years, twenty seven years?!).

I am expecting more.

Love overdose?

We grow up in a world where falling in love is one of the greatest things that can happen to you. One of the ultimate goals of someone's life.

Love, love, love, love!!!!
Meet your other half, have a nice romantic relationship, get serious with each other, get engaged, get married. 

What if....not?

Ok, yes, I admit it that falling in love can be a mindblowing exprerience.

But, why should we focus so much in falling in love? There are movies, books, music, blogs, articles, poems, and many more things about the importance of romantic love. A part of them create the general idea that if you fall in love (and only then!) you're going to be whole, feel completed.

But, inside all this kind of crazyness, do we lose other things?

Maybe other kinds of love, love for friends and family (and pets) that can make us feel complete as well.

Why should we concentrate so much in love and talking about every aspect of it,
like it's the one thing that's going to change the world and make it a better place?

Dear 2015....

I'm glad I met you. I really am. I might even be grateful that you came. A few days ago I accidentally found myself going through my facebook (a.k.a. the version of our lives for others to see) posts, thoughts and photos and it felt like another life. Like I used to have a life and now I have another one, a new one.

2015....you crushed me. You totally did. I felt I was betrayed by a couple of people. I felt I reached my limits quite a few times (four to be exact). I felt lonely, many times. I felt so disappointed. I felt I was stuck. I felt so insecure (a lot!). I felt fear. I felt the loss of my faith to things and people. I felt the chaos that was my life for a few months. 

2015.... while you were here I broke and reassembled myself, not one, but a couple of times (or more).

2015.....you marked me. I changed (or better I evolved), because I basically had no choice to do otherwise. And maybe after all it was the time for change.

2015....during your stay I managed to do some things:

* I met many new people!

* I made new friends!

* I exited my comfort zone!

* I created good relationships with other people!

* I had the chance to feel how having a hard crush on someone feels like!

* I made a band!

* I made new things for my career!

* I made new plans for my career and my life in general!

* I created many pieces of art!

* I wrote many poems, articles, lyrics for songs, texts, posts!

* I became more social!

* I learned that you never know what's coming next in life!

* I learned that you can survive a lot as a human being in life!

* I turned from being a "vase" made of thin glass that breaks easily to being a "wall" (with cracks, but still a wall)!

* I learned how to express what I feel in a much better way!

* I couldn't stop my brain from over-thinking and over-feeling, but I managed to turn all that energy into art and in general control my feelings and thoughts more than I used to in the past!

* I finally got over false ideas about my appearance (special thanks to a friend for that)!

* I cut ties with things and people that were more harming than good for me or that they didn't make me feel ok!

* Now I feel ok with being me, much more than I used to to in the past!

2015....I'm still working on things, learning and try to become a better person.

2015....sometimes I feel like I really started to LIVE my life while you were here (even though many bad stuff happened, but I turned them into better ones), so I guess I'm saying goodbye kink of whimsically!

Love, a hug and a kiss on the cheek!

Angelina  

            

The four letter word

This word is so small, but still can take you to heaven, magic places, hell and crush you.

It takes only an "l", an "o", a "v" and an "e". And everything out of a sudden makes sense. Or better, it doesn't make sense! 

You live your life, you're fine, you do the things you like, you meet new people, things in your life start falling into place, you...wait what was that before the things that fall into place?! Oh, you meet new people....and one of these new people might mean more than the others for you, right?

Welcome to the twilight zone!

We've been expecting you for the last 27 years of your life.....

So, prepare yourself for these powerful four letters (boo!)!

* Four letters that will make you go from "logic lover" to "prisoner of feelings". 

(You've been always a fan of logic and you were always trying to keep your feelings under control, but no, this time it's over! Your brain is going to ignore all the thoughts like "You should't like this person because you're going to ruin this and that". Feelings! A lot them!)

* Four letters that will make you think about this person (almost?) constantly.

* Four letters that will make you speak about this person (almost?) constantly.

* Four letters that will make you not being able to look at the other person's eyes for too long.

* Four letters that will make something inside you die a little bit each time you think about the chance that in the end nothing might happen between you two.

* Four letters that will make you smile a lot.

* Four letters that are going to bring a instant smile to your face when you lay your eyes upon this person.

* Four letters that will make this person seem sooo beautiful in your eyes.

* Four letters that will make you try to keep it together each time you're meeting this person.

* Four letters that will make you being unable to concentrate like you used to do.

* Four letters that will make you feel really uncomfortable because you're going to lose a big amount of your self-control.

* Four letters that will make you go from super-happiness to super-blues (and vice versa).

* Four letters that are definitely worth the risk of acting and expressing how you feel at some point. 

* Four letters that will make you feel like you're riding a roller coaster

(you might reach the top and stay there, or you might fall unexpectedly, it depends on whether the other person is going to feel the same way or not actually).

* Four letters that will make that song you already liked so much, making total sense....!

It goes like....

....and everything is dark and kind of scary

and you crave the full moon, but I don't care...

"You walk like a zombie" - Horrorpops

"Hurt"

One day, about 3 years ago, I was sitting on my sofa, with my laptop on my lap and I was listening to songs on YouTube. 

At some point I found a song called "Hurt", by Johny Cash. 

And I fell in love!

After some time I learned that this song was written by Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails.

 (what a soul he must have to write these lyrics...!).

It's basically my ultimate favorite, if I could sing only one song for the rest of my life this would be it. It's the one song that can bring tears to my eyes even if I'm in the best mood, it's the one song that when I listen to it the time and the world around me stop a little bit. 

Its lyrics are changing with me as time passes. At first I was feeling that some people were giving me their "empire of dirt", later that I did hurt myself, almost always that, yes, pain is one of the most real things in life. Nowadays, being in a period of change I keep thinking "what have I become?".

Plus, it will always remind me of the time when a period of depression started for me, 

of all the fragile moments in life and the pain that we come through eventually.

P.S. I think that this version is the best one ever: 

Trent Reznor - Hurt (Unplugged)

Precious memories

Precious memories.... those that are like the elite of all memories!

The very good (or even great ones) that may have passed and probably you won't be able to live similar things again,

but still they're going to have a special place in the back of your brain forever.

For me, one of the greatest memories I have are from my early childhood years (around 5 or 6 years maybe), when I was waking up those winter afternoons after my nap and I was sitting in the couch, between the blankets, with my mom and we were watching Charlie Chaplin movies (I remember watching the Oscars too during one of these afternoons). 

Even the thought makes me feel a unique kind of warmth and much loved.....

(image: youtube.com)

P.S. Thanks mom!

Photo of the day!

"Us two" (a tiny poem)

You were afraid of what you had inside your soul

And I was talking about a worth-exploring, imaginary, world

Photo of the day!

I fell in love and I learned my share of lessons

I really loved someone for the first time in my life. 

Past tense. 

And now I know a few more things about myself, love and life.

Present tense.

1. Since you have fallen in love once, you can do it again.

(There's a stage where you're thinking that you won't be able to love again, that he/she was the one that created the special feeling of love for you.....guess what, if you felt it once it means you have it in you and it also means that it's going to happen again.)

2. People and situations rarely change.

(Change is possible, but only if people can and want to change things.)

3. Relationships must be about happiness.

( If you're in a relationship and you start not being happy, probably it's time to leave.)

4. Never let anyone take away that (even small) personal space you own and deserve.

(It's one of the healthiest things in the world for the two members of a relationship to have some personal time.)

5. In general, in life, you should prefer love than hate, happiness than misery and calmness than rage.

(That's the theme of other "microcosm" posts, I know. And yes, you can make these choices.)

6. Trust your instinct.

(For good, for bad, for love, for friendship, for life, for people and for situations. Always listen to the things you hear from deep inside you.)

7. Life is short, so get up and act!
(Don't wait for the perfect timing and be more brave, in general.)

8. Never lose your faith.

(You may have faith in yourself, a dream, people, a higher power, life, whatever it is for you, don't stop believing. Never!)

Grandpa

For my grandpa (who died on March 18, 2005).....

I remember when he organized my first exhibition.

(I was around six, I was painting a lot and one day he had the idea of organizing an exhibition. He used the corridor of my home, he hang all my work on the walls and friends were visiting and buying my art!)

I remember the big walks we were having (just the two of us) in the nature around the house where I grew up.

I remember the "apricot kernel mountain".

(This was a one meter tall "mountain" made of apricot kernels. It was located some meters away from home.)

I remember the letters we were sending to each other and the postcards he was sending me when he was on vacation.

I remember the do-it-yourself jewelry kit he bought me once.

I remember this amazing belt he had, one with a Superman buckle!

I remember the cat story (from his exile days), the chess story, the tuna story and the mathematics story he used to say.

I remember that the period he was sick and dying I eased my pain by watching movies all the time.....

.....and I remember that because of him I studied cinema.

I remember that one of his "words of wisdom" phrases was:

"If you can't always do what you want, at least don't do what you don't want".

I remember this one postcard (which I still keep) where on August 2nd he was wishing me happy birthday for my six and a half years (my birthday is on February 2nd)!

I remember the three places he used to live (all three were in the centre of Athens, he liked being in the center of the city so he could walk everywhere) and whenever I walk by one of these places I smile.

I remember many things about him and I always smile.

Love!

Love.

For the movies it's the ultimate goal.

For the books it's perfection.

For some people it's money and status.

For others it's giving and receiving pain.

And for some less fortunate ones love is an unknown word.

Love.

You should have love in your life.

Start from yourself (love who you are, the bad things, the good things, the funny things).

Love the fact that you're breathing.

Love the fact that you're lucky enough to have your good health, a home, food.

Take a look around you, see the people you have in your life and love them too.

Love the rising sun in the morning.

Love the things that made you laugh today.

Love the company of others.

Love all animals (because they have the best souls).

Love art.

Love the words of a poem.

In general love whatever you like and it's good for you.

And in the end of the day love love itself and life!

7 days (of a broken heart)

I'm one of these people who break a lot and cry a lot (you can call us hypersensitive).
Oh, I still believe in real love in our days (and I'm not going to stop believing).

And seven days ago my then boyfriend broke up with me (plus told me that he had done something with another girl).

Hello hell!

And days passed and now I have a list of things I'm thinking and saying to myself (and I'm going to say to others when they'll come where I am now and they'll need my help):

* Grieve and cry as much as you want. Over and over. For hours and whole days.

* Be prepared to hurt a lot (the more you felt and have counted on someone the more you'll hurt).

* Be prepared to think about what happened from all points of view (why, was it your fault, etc).

* There will always be people who are going to stand by you when you're in need (a big thank you for those who took the time to help!).

* Give yourself the chance to say some last words to your ex - other half. Don't curse, it's not good, but just say what you think. It's your last chance to do something like that. But then stop having any contact. 

* Talk a lot and share your feelings and thoughts about your broken heart. I did it and it was so helpful, it helped me start seeing things clearer, see things from other points of view, feel that someone is next to me and many more.

* At some point, you should start seeing things clearer, look at the relationship you had from a fresh (more realistic and less sentimental) point of view. In the end you (might) realize that things weren't ideal and that there might have been things you didn't want to see clearly when you were still in the relationship.

* One of the worst things are the flashbacks. I had my whole relationship passing in front of my eyes for days. But, at some point you should start controlling your memories and thoughts. A great help to that will be to.....

* .....start doing things. Things you like, plans that were left in the drawer for some time, continue being who you are (or used to be).

* Give yourself time and everything will be ok eventually.

* Try to turn around bad things that happen, so they can be good for you. For example for seven days now I didn't have an appetite. At first I was eating something just to eat and now I'm starting to feel hungry now and then, but I see it as a chance to lose the weight I had gained lately.

* Remember that what really counts is the actions that others do and not their words.

* In case you're a positive person don't forget about it, because that's a great thing for the post break up period. For example, find something to make you smile daily.

* Remember that everything that reminds you of him/her will eventually remind you of something else or it won't hurt so much.

* Think of the future and the things to come. I like to believe that the best things are going to come in the future.

* It's ok to think about the things you didn't do and those you did and you liked them so much, but there comes a time when you should replace those thoughts with the thoughts of the things you 're going to do in the future.

* Be proud of yourself. You are who you are, you've treated as good as you could the other person, shit happens, but don't let it effect the way you see yourself. It really helps me when I look at the mirror and like what I see, I feel nice.

* Don't stop being happy for others and don't stop helping others. It's a good way to be open to happiness (that will come in the future).

* Even if you are more broken hearted than ever ( I know that I am) don't let your heart close. Let it open because it will be whole and happy again.

Like you!