Reinventing happiness (no.1)

You know these people that are able to find small pieces of happiness in their everyday life. A cute bird standing on top of a tree, a beautiful colored flower, the amazingly shaped clouds in the sky, etc. I used to be one of them. 

Until I wasn't any more. 

It started out slowly, it was more and more difficult for me to notice those  tiny bits of beauty. And it took only a few months to end up with depression. Me, that my philosophy is that happiness is a way of life and a life's goal, having depression. In combination with my obsessive compulsions that after 10 years have made my everyday routines so hard! 

So, I'm standing here today, feeling sad most of the time, not feeling like my usual self anymore, not being able to normaly do simple things (it's hard due to my obsessive compulsion even to move properly inside my ow house sometimes and sometimes it's even hard to get out of bed), feeling very anxious when I'm outside (because the next trigger might be waiting around the corner, right?!), not being able to dream and set goals like I used to, having thoughts  of self harm and a few more things. Oh, among all the above I'm giving my 120% to feel better. I do literary the best I can. Plus, the help I'm getting from my psychologist. And there's a chance of visiting a psychiatrist too, soon.

What's helping me the most in this difficult time is a small three-letter-word with much power: art. I'm lucky enough to be an artist. I'm using words, color, photography, music, drawing, singing, jewelry design, to express myself and basically breath. And I'm using the word "lucky" because it's pure luck to being able to deal with situations like mental health problems using art! 

One particular thing I have noticed lately is that even through hard times like these, I'm finding myself feeling deeply passionate about art in certain situations. Sometimes it's a concert, others a song or a movie. And this caught me thinking that....what if I could beat my depression and obsessive compulsions through art?! Always in combination with therapy of course. 

What if I could feel better using art (creating, admiring, studying) and in a way... reinvent my happiness?!