Saturday, November 28, 2015

A sweet comfort quote


Since the day I bought this and I looked at it from this angle it seems like it says these words to me....
(pink imagination)

Friday, November 27, 2015

Creating images

I'm sitting on a chair, with the laptop in front of me, on the kitchen table. 
Outside rain falls for a while now, and the sky has this wonderful light grey shade that makes everything look bright, even though there's no sun.

You just created a image in your mind, right?

Further than this kind of images that our mind creates, when someone gives you information about a scene, tells you a story maybe, there is another kind too.

The one that your imagination creates inside your mind.
Images that are so far from the reality (at least the reality you're in this moment).
You can be inside the scene I started this post with, and you can imagine other versions of reality...

....being inside a coffee shop with garland lights on the walls and comfortable chairs and sofas, with friends, laughing and talking about everything inside and outside your microcosms....

....being in a house, with your special someone, lying down under a blanket on the sofa, watching.....well, I'm going to choose X-Men movies because they're my favorite superheroes....

....dancing in the rain in the middle of a forest, spinning round and rounds around yourself, your clothes getting wet and rain drops falling upon your closed eye lids....



Thursday, November 26, 2015

"Comfort"


"I once was......"


Today, stays still.....
but there was a time when this was filled with water and all around people were dancing, with sparkly clothes and drinks on their hands!
And music was playing, while the summer breeze was making their hair fly!

"The bird on the wall"


A letter to myself

(the one I was 9 months ago, on the 25th of February)

Darling,

What seems like a tragedy today, will bring a smile to your face in a few months.
Be prepared to hurt a lot (psychological pain will be there with you for a long time).
Be prepared for many bad things to come together.
Some of the things you were always fantasizing about will come true.
Work will be one of the key words of this year.
You're going to cry a lot, and laugh a lot as well.
Many things and the way you look at the world and others will change. 
You're going to meet many new people and make new friends, so don't worry.
You silly, you can't even imagine how good your next love is going to be!
You're going to feel the meaning of the word "change", for real....!
Your comfort zone will expand.... (yes, it will feel weird at first).
That thing that you don't like rollercoasters....well, you're going to get into one (metaphorically speaking) and will be riding it for quite some time.
This is the year that you're going to accept a few big truths about life and people.
You're going to feel comfortable in your own skin (more than ever).
You're going to find what you've lost, your faith and everything.

And one last thing....hold tight and everything will get better!
(Believe me, I've been there!)



Wednesday, November 25, 2015

The well kept demons


If you're a regular reader of this blog you'll probably know that one of my favorite subjects to talk about is the personal demons each one of us has. I talk about mine every now and then. 

But today I thought of writing a few words about the ones that are deeper than any other. Those that almost nobody (maybe a couple of people, but not the 100% of them) knows about. 
These are the demons that I keep fighting and haven't defeated yet. These are the ones that I'm thinking about when sometimes seems to others like I'm lost in my own world (ok, there are cases that I'm really lost in my own world too). 
These are the demons that make me feel powerless sometimes or some other times I have to gather so much strength just for one battle with them.

Until that day that I'm going to win....(hopefully)....

The "h" word

For some people that have inspired me lately.......



In case you are used to having relationship that honesty and being open is not their best trait...
I can totally relate to you!
But, believe me.....there is another world out there waiting for you tο be honest and open as a person.

A world where people don't need to hide who they are, what they feel, their desires and needs. 
A world where you can have a very personal conversation with someone you just met or someone you know for a short period of time.
A world where people are true to themselves (and to others) and don't need to pretend.
A world where relationships are probably more real.
Oh, and this doesn't happen only with new acquaintances and friends, but with older ones too. 
Older ones that happen to have the potential to become better (relationships) and have a new meaning and place in your life!


Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Comfort zone junkie



After a long time of thinking about it, you take your first trip outside your comfort zone.
You may say yes to an invitation you would have probably said no, or do that activity you weren't brave enough to do before.
It feels nice isn't it? The rush of something new and the sense of winning over your insecurity.
So, you do it again....and many times after that. 
And one day you wake up and you realize that you are so used to challenging your comfort zone that it feels weird and like you're kind of stuck when you're not doing it!

Have you become an adrenaline junkie?

Well, if you can't wait for the next comfort zone challenge.....there's a very good chance you have become one.
But, it's not so bad...you test yourself, your limits, you definitely do more things than you used to and you live with much more passion!

Just remember to take a break every once in a while.... 
infinity and beyond will be there waiting.



Monday, November 23, 2015

"Boogie Man"

Oh, the moments when things are going right, 
or those when good things happen.....

What's that? That voice inside your mind that starts whispering.....
"good things don't last for long", "something bad might happen", "things might not turn so well", etc, etc, etc.
All those thoughts are like the Boogie Man, kept in the shadows, waiting to show himself.
And they're the beginning of a negative way of thinking, moments of fighting for positive attitude and a certain amount of anxiety. These thoughts hold you back from total joy and they usually keep you company until....


....time will tell what's real and what's not!


*image: youtube.com

Friday, November 20, 2015

I've been there.....

*I listened to a song and the lyrics became the perfect trigger to remember some things......


I was the one who was looking herself in the mirror and was wondering where her smile went.
I was the one who, when in time of need, instead of help got even more pressure from the person who had to be there for her.
I was the one who reached her limits.
I was the one who felt so, so, so alone even when being with someone else.
I was the one who felt like a knife stabbed her and someone was turning it around her wound.
I was the one who felt like a carpet was pulled off under her feet.
I was the one who was crying while dreaming of laughter.
I was the one with faith until I had no more.
I was the one who someone took her crown off one night.
I was the one who started getting used to the idea that every happy moment is followed by a sad one.
I was the one who got used to unpleasant surprises.
I was the one who learned to smile as a facade sometimes.


I'm no more.....




"Creep"



Thursday, November 19, 2015

"Hurt"

One day, about 3 years ago, I was sitting on my sofa, with my laptop on my lap and I was listening to songs on YouTube. 
At some point I found a song called "Hurt", by Johny Cash. 

And I fell in love!

After some time I learned that this song was written by Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails.
 (what a soul he must have to write these lyrics...!).

It's basically my ultimate favorite, if I could sing only one song for the rest of my life this would be it. It's the one song that can bring tears to my eyes even if I'm in the best mood, it's the one song that when I listen to it the time and the world around me stop a little bit. 

Its lyrics are changing with me as time passes. At first I was feeling that some people were giving me their "empire of dirt", later that I did hurt myself, almost always that, yes, pain is one of the most real things in life. Nowadays, being in a period of change I keep thinking "what have I become?".

Plus, it will always remind me of the time when a period of depression started for me, 
of all the fragile moments in life and the pain that we come through eventually.

P.S. I think that this version is the best one ever: 



Monday, November 16, 2015

The things that never came...

(image from quotesgram.com)

Imagination is great for creating expectations. 
You can imagine all these great and beautiful things that you want to come in your life.
I know because I've been imagining and having expectations....basically for as long as I can remember myself.

When you're a child expectations can be simple: a gift, candy, a walk.....
But when you grow up, when you become a teenager, soon to be an adult, you start imagining and making plans for your life: what are you going to do, how your daily life is going to be, what will be your profession, how your relationships with friends and family will be, how are you going to meet love, the smallest and biggest things!

And then....life happens!

Some things might come (the way you imagined or another way), 
some others won't and these are going to be the ones that will give you a pinch to your mind/heart as time goes by.

And yes, many people say that is a lot better having a few (or no) expectations, but not everyone can do it. Some of us keep imagining and dreaming....even if there are times that those expectations bring us down...(for a while).


Monday, November 9, 2015

"They may say" (a poem)


They may say
there's no such thing in life
But I dare
to speak out, dream and fight

They may say
I must compromise to survive
But I dream
and create my own world in life

They may say
there's no magic left aside
But I believe
in sparkle, rainbows, love, feeling alive!

Is happiness a taboo?


Blast from the past again.....
It was one day in junior high, I must have been around 14 years old, and as I was walking down the stairs with a friend at school I say to her "Oh, I'm blissful!". There was a boy walking in front of us and by the time the word "blissful" was heard he turned and looked at me and I must say it was a....kind of weird look, kind of. 
My first thought at that moment was "why did he looked at me liked that, I said nothing weird, I said something completely normal and pleasant". My second thought was "is happiness something weird for some people?".
Here we are almost twelve years later (oh, time passes so fast....!) and I have been thinking for a while....
IS HAPPINESS A TABOO?
And maybe we're afraid of happiness deep down? 
Is it so weird for other people (or let's say the society) to express your happiness openly?
What, you have to be like "oh, I'm fine...", "ah,I'm ok..."?

Well, sometimes I feel (and everyone else as well) BLISSFUL!
And more than happy to express it......!
;-)

Sunday, November 8, 2015

Being confortable outside my comfort zone

My first contact with the phrase "outside your comfort zone" happened about 3 years ago, through a TV series (I think I was already trying to get out of mine, but I didn't know there was a phrase about it). So, about 3 years ago I started writing about exiting my comfort zone and...try to make it happen! Yes, it was pretty hard and it went like one step forward, 2 steps back.
Until.....2015!
This glorious year....when I found myself into chaos, having not a single stability in my life for a while. And that's the point where something magical happened!
Having nothing to lose I started doing all the things that I was afraid or hesitant of doing:
* I volunteered to an art festival
* I asked others to go out more easily
* I started talking more easily to people around me
* I participated in workshops 
* I added my artwork and photography prints to my handmade objects brand (Daily Art by Angelina)
* I decided to bring my art photography to the next level and work towards making it a profession (Angelina Mavrogianni Photography)
* I started my first band (and I'm thinking of starting a second one too)
* I started getting used to talking to people I didn't know well (to do all the above I had to accomplish that too)
* I started publishing my poems to this blog (http://themicrocosminsidemymind.blogspot.gr/search/label/poetry)
* I started creating small videos with a cappella covers of songs I love

These are some examples of the things I accomplished during the year and to do them I had to go so outside my comfort zone....!
There were the good and the bad days, the days I was so much into doing something new and the ones when I didn't have so much courage, but I fought a lot, I worked a lot and today....

....the truth is I don't know where my comfort zone begins and ends anymore. 
I'm a little bit tired of trying so much sometimes, but magical things do happen outside your comfort zone and I've reached a point where the first thing that comes to my mind each time I accomplish a task is "what am I doing to do next to challenge my comfort zone?!".

Plus, I have started feeling comfortable with...not feeling comfortable 
and that's a marvelous feeling!

Thursday, November 5, 2015

"You lovely pain" (a poem)


*Note: This poem was written during a migraine crisis, when I was lucky enough to be functional. Maybe these words was a way for me to curse the pain away, maybe....


Dear pain,
you who run through my brain
and you're warming up my blood

You lovely pain,
that your voice, so sharp,
is puncturing my ears

Dear pain,
you I can hear in silence
calling my name

You lovely pain,
that I can feel your touch 
upon my so fragile skin

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

"Again, and again, and again" (a poem)


You can stab me
again
and again
and again
and for as long as you like
Twisting the blade making sure that I won't survive
But I will rise
from the ashes you burned down
Each single time
I'm going to pick up every piece,
reassemble and rise
again
and again
and again
You can stab me 
as long as you like
but I'm ready now;
ready to fight


Monday, November 2, 2015

The chicken with the big dreams



And that's the phrase I used to describe myself to someone the summer that passed.

I'm a coward, a proper chicken, 
but there's a certain point when you'll have to toughen up, exit your comfort zone and do something to come closer to the things you want from life.
It takes courage, faith, work and good breathing,
 but then when you stand and you see (literally or by imaging it) what you've done you feel....
like a totally powerful person, 
like anything can happen, 
like you can accomplish anything,
 like happiness (well not "like", it's pure happiness),
like "if it feels so nice why I spend so much time chickening out of it?!",
like you finally got it (and definitely not by chance)!!

And you're reading this from the girl who was too afraid and insecure to have her own band, to show off her art, to sing something she wrote in front of others, maybe sometimes to lay eyes on a guy she really liked, to think herself as an artist, to follow her 100% real goals for life...
but so long.....!!

What's coming next?

Cause I'm ready.