"The memory" (a self-portrait)

"The Umbrella Story"

To my friend (you know who)...

It was a summer night, a couple of months ago, and I was sitting in my living room with a friend who had an issue with a guy. I could put myself in her shoes and I payed attention to what she was saying.

 So, as we were talking, at some point I was laying back in my armchair, cool, drinking my soda from a glass with an umbrella on top (the ones they put on cocktails) and looking at my friend thinking that "oh her problem was tough and I was so lucky to be free of this kind of problems for a while
(during that period I wasn't so much interested in getting involved with anybody and I was all about myself and being free of guy problems and stuff).

It turned out that later on I would have the same problem she had.
And the times I remembered that moment with the umbrella drink in hand are soo many!

For one more time I realized that in life, whatever happens to the person next to you has great chances of happening to you too.
It's a "you-'re-next" thing.

Two lines by Brothers Grimm

From the moment I read these two lines I fell in love with them. 

They have become something like a mantra for me, 

sometimes I even quote them out of the blue, just because they're so lyrical and perfect!

I am

I am a young woman.

I am an artist.

I am scared to death to do some things.

I am a daydreamer.

I am someone who lost faith (not in a religion, but in people, situationσ and the beautiful things that might come) and is starting to gaining it again.

I am tired of trying sometimes.

I am balancing between happiness and melancholy. 

I am (usually) full of anxiety (for things that I want to come and they might not, for what I'm going to do with my life, that something bad might happen, etc, etc).

I am not afraid to express what I feel (in here or to some people I trust).

I am recovering from a bad year.

I am a great lover of laughing.

I am happy when I spend time with myself.

I am who I am at this moment because I worked for it.

I am learning to live outside my comfort zone.

I am grateful to have a roof over my head and food.

I am beginning to believe in myself in a way that I only subconsciously have imagined. 

I am someone who gained self-confidence through work and time (and still working on that).

I am afraid of silence.

I am afraid of the things that might not come.

I am a person who's able to go to pieces, pick up each piece, rebuild myself again (and become a better version of myself each time I do this).

I am here.

I am learning to live.

The most important words I've heard in my life

(until now at least)

I'm a little bit of a drama queen sometimes. 

Some other times I'm kind of overreacting.

 If I want something I can't wait too long until I get it, if I 'm feeling something I can't help but expressing myself....etc, etc. 

And there are times that I feel that I might be crossing my line of self control, maybe take something too seriously and making a big deal of it (well, when you can't stop your mind from thinking almost all the time some things become bigger than they really are in there).

So, all these moments when I'm afraid that I'm going to lose control I try to remember the really important things in life. 

The really really important ones!

The number one for me it's a phrase that I've been told when I was 20 years old. 

Back then, after a fainting episode and health problems that followed it, I took some medical tests and in one of those (which was to check the chance of having cancer), the doctor came out of his office and told me the phrase:

"You're fine, you don't have anything".

And that's the phrase I remember when things get out of control inside my mind.

I'm fine, and there was a chance I wouldn't be and that's a blessing on its own.

 So anything else.... I can handle!

A place where magic happens

This a photo I took a couple of years ago,

 It was a sunny Sunday morning and as I was walking in the center of Athens I saw a bunch of balloons hanging from a balcony.

 "Oh something nice must happen inside there" I thought. 

A few months after that I attended a class of photography in this building so I had the chance to take a look at the inside, with the pink walls and big white staircase to the upstairs floor (where I never went, so the mystery kept on going).

So, this autumn I started attending a class of theatrical play....in the upstairs floor of this same building (yes the one with the balcony).

I realized that something magical does happen in there, a group of positive people gather and work on freeing and understand themselves and becoming their best selves through movement, theater, role playing and imagination!

Inside there.....magic happens!

Adulthood

To friends and family I refer to 2015 as "the year I became an adult".

Bad and unpleasant things (and a few better ones) happened during the year and it was my time to move on,
leave my "Peter Pan syndrome" zone to become a new version of myself.

First impressions of adulthood:
- life is usually closer to chaos than in order (I have almost accepted it)
- you need patience (still dealing with this because I don't do well with being patient)
- hello more responsibilties and anxiety (the more the merrier....not!)
- psysical signs of getting older (oh yeah, my first grey hair and the frequent black circles under my eyes)
- things happen and you start losing your faith in people, situations and the possible "magic" that can happen (but I'm still fighting for my faith in all these things and I 'm never going to stop)
- being happy takes a little more effort (and sometimes a lot more effort)
+ doing the things you really want (cause time passes right?!)
 + you express your real self  (I have started not giving a damn)
 + you learn to depend less to others (friends, lovers and people go away and you always keep on going and being alive and well)
   + eventually your relationships with others become more honest (by saying what you think and feel, by listening to them)
+ no matter what happens life is going on

So....at 26 I became an adult, but......
a part of me was, is and always be a little kid and this keeps me balanced.

"The train on the wall"

Photo of the day!

"Part of a colorful castle"